Aspects of Salvia media coverage that make me laugh and cry

1. "Salvia, sometimes known on the street as Sally-D, Magic Mint, or Maria Pastora..."

This misdirection is quite subtle, and thus possibly one of the more pernicious of scare tactics directed against Salvia. I would not dispute that, in theory, some people refer to Salvia Divinorum by these names. Where such allusions are misleading is by implying that Salvia is some shady drug that teens are buying on the street. No, thankfully, because Salvia is still legal, pretty much all Salvia users buy it from reputable online sellers such as bouncingbearbotanicals.com, or from local head shops, and when referring to Salvia, people generally refer to it by its official species name, Salvia Divinorum. I have certainly never heard of someone buying Salvia "off the street" when such a measure would be completely unnecessary and counter-productive. Because it is still legal in most places, such measures are unnecessary. Let's keep it that way.

2. "The effects last up to 30 minutes, with some lingering effects lasting up to several days."

No, this is just flat wrong. Laughably wrong. 3-5 minutes for the peak experience, with a little funkiness up to 10-15 minutes after that. That's all. Guaranteed. (Assuming one is using the smoking method, of course!...but even when ingesting Salvia, I would expects lasting a few hours at most. In any case, this is clearly not what media sources are alluding to in their scare stories).

3. "Salvia, a drug that produces a legal high similar to LSD..."

No, sorry, Salvia trips are nothing like those from LSD. The time-scale is completely different, the emotional aspect is completely different, and even the "visual" "hallucinations" are completely different (for example, with Salvia it is rare to have simply a visual hallucination. Usually the visual aspect is fundamentally integrated with some ego-aspect or some feeling of being pushed or pulled by various geometric forces and whatnot. This is, qualitatively, very different from LSD, from what I understand. Are the two drugs even on the same level of intensity? No, I'd say, if anything, Salvia must be judged to be the stronger of the two because during the Salvia peak one cannot remotely even contemplate interacting with the outside world or even comprehending what an outside world would be. From what I understand, only DMT approaches this similar level of disconnection from the normal world. Which brings me to...

4. "Law enforcement officers worry what effect Salvia could have on teens behind the wheel..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnwS5sPOzb0
http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=241125&title=celebrity-video-tommy-chong-vs.
'Nuff said.

Besides, people injure and kill themselves all the time from the motor discoordination wrought by alcohol. Why, then, is not alcohol illegal across the board? Likewise, water can kill you if you abuse it (drink too much of it). Too much sugar can kill you. Oxygen can kill you (if you hyperventilate). Just because there is the potential to abuse something does not mean that it makes sense to legislate around the assumption that it will always be abused. For the people who abuse a substance, we punish and/or treat with medical help. For the others who go around drinking alcohol, eating sugar, and breathing oxygen in non-abusive manners, we let them live their lives freely without the nanny-State interfering.

5. "Parents and substance abuse counselors worry that Salvia addiction could derail teens' lives..."

Addiction? Whaaat? Salvia is a kappa opiod receptor agonist, which means it has a tendency to produce dysphoria which, when combined with the startling changes in reality, means that there is practically no chance of getting addicted. The main reason why people generally choose to return to Salvia is simply because of the curiosity and/or mystical/intellectual/perceptual revelations sparked by each bizarre encounter with it.

6. "Brett Chidester, who committed suicide after taking Salvia, has served as a warning to parents and lawmakers of what potential dangers lurk within this legal plant..."

Not only is this, as far as I know, the only death to be even remotely associated with Salvia Divinorum in the history of the drug so far, but the connection between Brett Chidester's consumption of Salvia and his suicide has not been persuasively demonstrated. I would wager that Brett also watched TV at some point in his life before committing suicide. Is TV equally to blame? I imagine Brett must have faced at least one problem at school or had at least one disagreement with his parents at some point in his life before he committed suicide. There are a host of factors that could account for his decision to commit suicide. More examples of correlation between Salvia use and suicide would need to exist before we could even speculate about Salvia's tendency to induce suicidal behavior (and that would still be only correlation, which, without then identifying a causative relationship between Salvia and suicide, would be rather shaky ground for pronouncing any medical or legal judgment). There is, of course, that suicide note in which Brett claims that Salvia convinced him to take his life, but there is the obvious possibility that he is simply grasping for a dramatic rationalization for his decision. There is, of course, also the possibility that the suicide note is not authentic. And even if Brett's death could be definitely tied to Salvia, that is still just one death, compared to thousands of deaths from alcohol (legal), and hundreds of thousands of deaths from tobacco (legal), every year. If Salvia were restricted to over-18 year-olds and included a surgeon general's warning: "May cause suicide," would that satisfy frightened parents, as it seems to do for tobacco and alcohol?

7. "If you encounter someone who is under the effects of Salvia Divinorum, call 911..."

No, just chill the fuck out...jesus...all you need to do is give the person some gentle general support for about 5 minutes, and everything will be fine.

8. "Signs of Salvia exposure include dilated pupils, decreased heart rate..."

No, signs of Salvia exposure include noticing that the person is in the process of tripping the fuck out. Seriously, it is as if these news articles on Salvia have done no research or first-hand investigation on the topic, and have simply copied and pasted generic information from WebMD or something. This sort of claim is also misleading because it obscures the fact that, 15 minutes after initial inhalation, Salvia "exposure" (as news stories often put it) would be virtually undetectable.